Freeman's Mind： Episode 7-kj4BpDyhFuE.en.srt

#100:00:02,693→00:00:06,764

[Subtitles by danielsangeo]

#200:00:07,264→00:00:08,065

Dammit.

#300:00:08,065→00:00:10,801

How come that catwalk doesn't have any supports?

#400:00:10,801→00:00:14,004

The last one had dangling cables after it collapsed.

#500:00:14,004→00:00:18,108

If I had one of those, I could swing across to the other side like Tarzan.

#600:00:18,108→00:00:19,610

That would be dope.

#700:00:19,610→00:00:21,645

They did that in Star Wars, too.

#800:00:21,645→00:00:25,015

Dude swinging across a gap with some babe holding onto him.

#900:00:25,015→00:00:26,784

That was a grappling hook, though.

#1000:00:27,284→00:00:30,087

That's what this suit needs: a grappling hook.

#1100:00:30,087→00:00:34,391

Then I could swing my way to victory instead of performing this balancing act.

#1200:00:35,292→00:00:38,729

Bugs can crawl on walls. Maybe I should've been a bug.

#1300:00:38,729→00:00:40,664

Go Team Kafka!

#1400:00:40,664→00:00:43,700

I'd at least want four arms like the god Shiva.

#1500:00:44,268→00:00:46,270

Okay, now I have some options.

#1600:00:46,270→00:00:48,906

I can either fall to my death in this black pit,

#1700:00:48,906→00:00:52,476

land on the edge and gore myself on the jagged metal mesh,

#1800:00:52,476→00:00:55,212

or land on the concrete and maybe break my legs.

#1900:00:55,212→00:00:58,382

And before, all I had was the pit.

#2000:00:58,382→00:01:00,017

Jee-heez!

#2100:01:00,017→00:01:03,754

I'm going to have arthritis by the time I'm 30 at this rate.

#2200:01:03,754→00:01:06,657

Assuming I even live that long.

#2300:01:06,657→00:01:08,025

Ah, who am I kidding?

#2400:01:08,025→00:01:09,793

I've got a gun.

#2500:01:09,793→00:01:12,963

Oh, what the hell? Another catwalk is out?

#2600:01:12,963→00:01:14,765

And what is THAT?

#2700:01:14,765→00:01:17,234

It's got tentacles for a face.

#2800:01:17,234→00:01:18,836

It's a Cthulhu dog.

#2900:01:19,503→00:01:22,606

Well, it's attacking the face-huggers; it can't be all bad.

#3000:01:22,606→00:01:24,608

I'll just wait until it's done with them and--

#3100:01:24,608→00:01:28,345

[coughing]

#3200:01:28,345→00:01:31,415

Plegh! Tastes like dead caterpillars! Pleh!

#3300:01:31,415→00:01:32,916

Okay, squid-head.

#3400:01:34,685→00:01:38,655

Say hello to Yog-Sothoth and the Elder Gods for me!

#3500:01:39,723→00:01:40,524

Hey, a rope!

#3600:01:40,524→00:01:41,959

Now I can be Tarzan!

#3700:01:41,959→00:01:44,061

[Tarzan yell]

#3800:01:44,061→00:01:45,629

Hey, wait, that's not a rope.

#3900:01:45,629→00:01:48,966

That's a...these are like... jellyfish or something.

#4000:01:48,966→00:01:51,635

If I swung on that, it could come crashing down on me.

#4100:01:51,635→00:01:54,304

These aliens are just good for nothing.

#4200:01:56,373→00:01:58,442

These crates are good for something.

#4300:01:58,442→00:02:00,143

This one just broke my fall.

#4400:02:00,544→00:02:03,280

That means aliens are worth less than crates.

#4500:02:03,280→00:02:05,082

Which is, what, a few bucks?

#4600:02:08,085→00:02:10,287

Well, at least I got to rinse my mouth out.

#4700:02:10,287→00:02:12,089

What I really need is some toothpaste,

#4800:02:12,089→00:02:15,125

but now it tastes a little bit less like squid snot.

#4900:02:15,125→00:02:18,729

If that water's toxic, too, then at least the toxins are tasteless.

#5000:02:18,729→00:02:21,198

I'll have time to worry about mouth cancer later.

#5100:02:21,665→00:02:22,332

Hey, wait.

#5200:02:22,833→00:02:24,534

What's up with this ceiling?

#5300:02:25,569→00:02:30,007

That looks like a ceiling designed to have moving walls that crush people.

#5400:02:30,007→00:02:31,508

Well, there's no bloodstains.

#5500:02:31,942→00:02:34,144

Oh, God. That was a pun.

#5600:02:34,144→00:02:36,313

"What's up with this ceiling?"

#5700:02:36,313→00:02:37,581

What's wrong with me?

#5800:02:37,581→00:02:40,450

I'd punch somebody in the mouth if they said that to me.

#5900:02:40,784→00:02:42,653

Huh. Wow....

#6000:02:42,653→00:02:44,588

I wasn't expecting this.

#6100:02:44,588→00:02:47,791

This... this must be our box-smashing room.

#6200:02:47,791→00:02:50,227

I mean, what, we have a bottomless pit,

#6300:02:50,227→00:02:54,965

and the sides are all plate metal that look strong enough to withstand a missile blast.

#6400:02:54,965→00:02:58,235

This room must've cost a couple hundred thousand to build.

#6500:02:58,235→00:03:00,504

Eat your heart out, taxpayers.

#6600:03:00,504→00:03:02,439

This is where your money goes.

#6700:03:02,439→00:03:05,609

I mean, we get most of our money from the Department of Defense,

#6800:03:05,609→00:03:07,811

and this is what we're spending it on.

#6900:03:07,811→00:03:10,614

And here, I thought my division was wasting money.

#7000:03:10,614→00:03:13,550

We were doing a hell of a lot more than smashing boxes.

#7100:03:14,184→00:03:16,620

This whole company's just retarded.

#7200:03:17,354→00:03:20,424

Ugh, there's no door up here.

#7300:03:20,424→00:03:23,060

Is there really no way around this?

#7400:03:23,060→00:03:24,461

What do the workers normally do?

#7500:03:24,461→00:03:27,331

Just ride the crates down like it's a ski-lift?

#7600:03:28,265→00:03:29,066

Well...

#7700:03:30,734→00:03:33,170

Okay, extreme hopscotch!

#7800:03:33,170→00:03:34,104

Let's do this!

#7900:03:35,539→00:03:37,474

No room for error here.

#8000:03:37,474→00:03:41,378

It kind of reminds me of that cooking show I saw filmed in the Philippines,

#8100:03:41,378→00:03:45,082

where two chefs would compete against each other to make the best dish,

#8200:03:45,082→00:03:48,952

and, at the end, they would cut the loser's head off with a sword.

#8300:03:48,952→00:03:50,554

I think the show got cancelled.

#8400:03:52,122→00:03:56,560

Well, now I have an answer if anyone ever asks me what the dumbest thing I've ever did was.

#8500:03:56,560→00:03:57,461

I can say-WHOA!

#8600:03:58,128→00:04:01,398

"There was this one time I was jumping across these crates suspended above

#8700:04:01,398→00:04:04,501

"a bottomless pit, even though I didn't really know where I was going.

#8800:04:05,302→00:04:08,038

"Or-or-or, there was the time I crawled into a drainage pipe,

#8900:04:08,038→00:04:10,207

"opened up the floodgate and almost drowned.

#9000:04:10,207→00:04:11,808

"I shouldn't even be alive, really."

#9100:04:12,776→00:04:13,844

Ahh, made it.

#9200:04:14,511→00:04:17,581

So, where do these things go that we need so many crates?

#9300:04:18,782→00:04:20,350

That doesn't go anywhere.

#9400:04:20,350→00:04:21,284

That's a wall.

#9500:04:22,152→00:04:23,420

That....

#9600:04:23,420→00:04:26,523

That means we're just loading up crates so we can drop them over that pit.

#9700:04:27,224→00:04:31,061

That means that there's no damned point to this whole room.

#9800:04:31,061→00:04:33,397

This whole place is such a wash.

#9900:04:33,397→00:04:36,900

Good ol' New Mexico. We're really making a name for the state.

#10000:04:36,900→00:04:39,703

First, they invented the atomic bomb in Los Alamos.

#10100:04:39,703→00:04:43,407

Now, we've invented mean-ass aliens that teleport out of nowhere.

#10200:04:43,407→00:04:45,342

I'm not sure which is worse.

#10300:04:45,342→00:04:47,411

You know, when they invented the atomic bomb,

#10400:04:47,411→00:04:50,080

they were afraid it was going to catch the atmosphere on fire

#10500:04:50,080→00:04:52,983

and burn up the whole earth, but they did it anyway.

#10600:04:52,983→00:04:54,518

That took balls.

#10700:04:54,518→00:04:55,719

Not us, though.

#10800:04:55,719→00:04:57,254

The only people taking the risks

#10900:04:57,254→00:05:00,023

were the ones that didn't understand them in the first place.

#11000:05:00,023→00:05:01,258

We're not brave.

#11100:05:01,258→00:05:02,692

We're just stupid.

#11200:05:03,927→00:05:05,629

Well, I'm on the other side.

#11300:05:05,629→00:05:07,664

So, that's what? Three-for-three?

#11400:05:07,664→00:05:11,168

Man, we've picked the wrong contractor to build these catwalks.

#11500:05:11,168→00:05:13,470

El Sleazo's Discount Construction.

#11600:05:13,470→00:05:16,339

Bribing building inspectors for over 40 years.

#11700:05:17,641→00:05:18,642

YES!

#11800:05:18,642→00:05:21,144

Time to get the hell out of here.

#11900:05:24,648→00:05:26,648

I hate elevator music.